HS Foreign 30.3.2004 - From the desk of a foreign correspondent: <I>HS</I> man in Washington answers his pen pals

Dear George W. Bush

I was pleasantly surprised when the mail brought me a large envelope with a glossy photograph of You inside. I was especially warmed by the autograph at the bottom of the picture. It seems you signed your name personally.

Ever since then, the picture has been prominently displayed to all the guests in our home, although I have needed to protect it a bit from the obvious destructive aims of my spouse.

Perhaps we have reason to suspect her of Democratic sympathies.

I greatly value the fact that such a display of gratitude from the leader of the world's greatest nation was extended even to a foreigner who is on assignment in the country for only a few years, and is not even entitled to vote in the November presidential elections.

Based on the newspaper articles I have seen, your campaign contributions are close to reaching the target mark of 170 million dollars. Therefore, I conclude that you are also not in desperate need of the campaign contribution of at least 25 dollars that was requested along with the photograph.

I will keep the picture, if that is OK with you. If not, you can request that I return it by sending a separate letter. Hopefully I will still be in possession of the picture at that time.

Yours sincerely, Jyri Raivio

Dear Mike Retzer

I am writing to thank you for the letter that you had amusingly dated only "Friday morning". I am delighted that your job as the Treasurer of the Republican National Committee, as demanding as it surely is, has not dulled your sense of humour.

Nevertheless, I am slightly astonished by the tone of your letter. You begin: "I don't want to believe you've abandoned the Republican Party, but I have to ask ... Have you given up?"

You go on to state that your records show that you have not yet received my RNC membership renewal for the critical presidential election year of 2004. You then add that as Treasurer of the RNC, you know that your party's success depends directly on grass-roots leaders like myself.

In other words, you are surprised and concerned because you know how generously I have supposedly supported the RNC in the past, and how instrumental my help was in electing a Republican President and Congress.

"Please don't turn your back on President Bush and Republican candidates at all levels who are counting on your help", you write at the end of the letter.

The situation is obviously so down to the wire that even 25 dollars would be sorely needed. The same 25 dollars are also sorely needed in my personal budget, so I think I will pass this time.

Besides, I have never been a member of your party. Your description of me as a grass-roots level Republican leader drew hearty laughs from my spouse and others who know me.

I am a foreigner, I am not allowed to vote in the United States, and as far as I know, I am not even allowed to provide financial support to political parties.

Yours sincerely, Jyri Raivio

Dear Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi

You were kind enough to send me a letter as Democratic Leader of the House of Representatives. In your letter of eight pages in length, you mention numerous reasons why beating President Bush in the November elections is absolutely critical. You say that America needs new values, new priorities, and a new leader in Washington, D.C. You did not neglect to remind me that this will not be possible without money.

I should cough up at least 25 dollars. In return, you promised me something concrete along with the political hope: a fighting donkey pin, one of the many items available with your party symbol.

The fighting donkey pin would undoubtedly go well with my good suit, but unfortunately I cannot participate in this fundraiser. According to my knowledge, it is actually against the law to accept campaign contributions from foreigners, so my 25 dollars could even get the party into great trouble.

I understand that you Democrats are way behind Bush in your fundraising activities and that the new legislation on campaign funding makes it necessary to collect money as small sums from a large number of people. I simply cannot be of any assistance.

Yours sincerely, Jyri Raivio

P.S. Could you kindly relay a message to the administrator of your party's membership registry that I truly am not a member of the Democratic Party, even though you sent me my membership number along with your previous fundraising letter.

Helsingin Sanomat / First published in print 28.3.2004